A Year in My Life May- Allowing Others to serve

Wow, with all the chaos having an eighth baby brings I completely forgot to share my photos from my “A Year in My Life” project for the month of May. My goal with this project is to get the real camera out every day and document something. I would say May was not the biggest success. With Hannah being born in the middle of the month I wasn’t exactly full of motivation to take photos. Exhausted moms don’t go for the camera very regularly.

39 week pregnant belly shot |smithsquad.com| exist in photos | lifestlye maternity photography
Final belly shot of this pregnancy

On Mother’s Day after a gloriously long nap we went to a friend’s house for dinner. The dads made dinner while the moms sat and chatted. It was a really fun time. I passed off my camera to their teen daughter for a while and got what is now my final pre-baby belly shot.

newborn baby number eight |smithsquad.com| Fresh 48 photography |Newborn hospital photography | large family
Final belly shot of this pregnancy

Miss Hannah arrived on May 14th after only 2 hours of labor, her birth story is here if you care to read it. For some reason the recovery from this birth was much harder than my previous births. I usually feel pretty good physically by 3-4 days post-partum. With Hannah I still didn’t want to get off the couch after a week and didn’t feel like I was really myself till about two weeks.

a little boy and his sock monkey |smithsquad.com | Large family |Documentary family photography | Lifestlye child photographer

a little boy and his sock monkey |smithsquad.com | Large family |Documentary family photography | Lifestlye child photographer
Wally did a lot of sock monkey cuddling while mommy was baby cuddling.

They say that every birth is different, but honestly I never really expected for recovery to ever be all that different. I know that two weeks of recovery really isn’t that bad, but compared to my normal 3-4 days it was a real downer. I’ve also struggled a LOT more with the hormones this time around. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m getting older or because I’m just completely worn out, but boy have my mood swings been crazy! I’m pretty much over it now, but there were a few rough weeks there when I just couldn’t really function. It didn’t help at all that Cameron had to go back to work 2 days after Hannah was born.

Large family play time at the park |smithsquad.com | post partum depression Large family play time at the park |smithsquad.com | post partum depression

Large family play time at the park |smithsquad.com | post partum depression
Spending time outside at the park helps me to ward off post-partum depression.

So what’s a mom to do when there are seven very little people to take care of, but she is dealing with the baby blues? Ask for help. Sounds pretty easy, but boy is it hard! Somewhere in our history large families have ceased to be the norm. As such there is a lot of judgement that can come upon those of us who choose to have one when we don’t have everything 100% under control. I’ve heard it said to me or others more than once that if we can’t handle it then we shouldn’t have so many. IF I admit I need help I know I am risking negative judgment from others about my choice to allow another little person to join our family. While I am confident in my choices and know that I can not possibly escape judgment no matter what I do, it is still hard to risk opening myself up to that criticism from people who just don’t understand. I am naturally pretty independent. It is difficult to be vulnerable and admit I need help caring for all these monkeys.

It's ok to ask for help |Smithsquad.com | post partum recovery | Large Family |documentary photographer | Lifestyle photography
A local homeschool teen came over and helped out. Wally had a blast making cornbread with her help.

Luckily for me my husband does not suffer from the same insecurities. He asked the church ladies for help  and thankfully some really amazing friends jumped at the chance to serve. A fellow homeschooling family sent their teen daughter over to keep kids entertained so I could get some rest. Another friend came over later that week and brought food for a few days as well as spent the morning helping me with kiddos and laundry. People also brought us meals big enough to give me leftovers for over a week. My husband of course did his best to pick up as much slack as he could in the evenings when he was here as well.

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Amongst all the chaos of our new baby our goat, Alice, also had a new baby. Flora arrived a few months before we were expecting her, which means Alice was likely pregnant when we brought her home and we just didn’t know it yet. Flora was the cutest thing. I love how baby goats prance around the yard. Sadly we lost her when she was only a few days old. We’re not sure why. One morning the was hopping around cute as a button and that afternoon I found her hidden behind a large rock no longer breathing. Poor Alice took it pretty hard and kept bleating for her baby for about two days.

A new baby goat| Smithsquad.com| homesteading | Large Family
Alice loved her new baby as much as I love mine! I’m so sad we lost her.

Overall it was a pretty awesome month, and with everything that was going on I’m glad I got as many photos as I did. A huge thank you to all those who helped us make it through the month.

What was your post-partum recovery like? Did you allow others to help you? What was the most helpful thing anyone did for you after baby arrived?

2 comments

  1. First off, I commend you! I know a handful of women that have large families and I admire each and every one of them for the love and effort they put out. I’m sorry you and your husband have been judged. But seriously I have one three year old and don’t always have it under control!

    That said, my post-pregnancy recovery was challenging because of my emergency c-section. My husband, mom and my daughters now-godmother were a huge help! I could not have done it without them. Shucks not being able to drive those first few weeks was a pain. But the nicest thing was my daughters godmother came by to make me my fav dish from her country. I didn’t expect it and it was greatly appreciated.

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